Eurovision 2026: Friedrich Merz ‘Mr. Zero Points’

Friedrich Merz on stage amid Eurovision chaos, satirical depiction of him receiving zero points

For once that Turkey and Azerbaijan weren’t competing in Eurovision, Germany blew its chance!

Voters from the Turkish diaspora—who weren’t going to vote for the absent contest entries “Turkey” and “Azerbaijan”—were supposed to switch their support to the German friend. Germany was counting heavily on their backing…

Alas! Because of a communication snafu, Eurovision swapped the Bulgarian artists’ number with that of the German musicians!

People from Turkey, who thought they were supporting the German troupe, massively voted “Bulgaria” by messaging. Thus Germany, which had pictured itself center stage thanks to support from Turkish communities across Europe, received a grand total of zero points from the European public.

After the announcement of the Bulgarian victory, Friedrich Merz and his dancers—who had expected to return and perform on stage—had banana peels thrown at them. They had to beat a retreat shouting “Das ist eine super party, baby!”

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